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In frankly the greatest clucking disaster of 2018 so far, everybody’s favourite fried chicken outlet, KFC, has run out of chicken. We repeat: KFC has run out of chicken.
*Darkness ascends, lightning strikes the sky, freak blizzards begin to swirl, volcanoes erupt, and somewhere in the distance, a single cock crows…*
It appears that the end of days has officially arrived, as KFC has been forced to temporarily close the majority of its 950 UK outlets “due to operational issues”.
That’s the explanation of DHL, KFC’s brand new chicken supplier – we’re sorry to burst the dream cloud, but the Colonel doesn’t rear all those chickens himself, we’re afraid – who monumentally cocked up (another chicken pun, an extra five points on the scoreboard for us) their first day on the job by failing to deliver any chicken. You had one job DHL, one job…
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And boy oh boy, have feathers been ruffled (another five points). People cannot cope. A whole 24 hours without a Zinger Tower Burger? Fried chicken fans have realised that worst nightmares can come true.
While there isn’t a helpline as such – nothing will ever be as bad as the day Robbie left Take That – there is a special section of the KFC website where customers can find their nearest outlet that is actually open and has more to serve than chips, beans and coleslaw.
Twitter user Tony Shepherd (@tonysheps) summed the whole situation up excellently, tweeting:
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Never mind Brexit. #KFCCrisis is the most important issue in the country at the moment. The Colonel would be spinning in his grave (like a rotisserie chicken) 🍗
— Tony Shepherd (@tonysheps) February 19, 2018
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But there’s an even more pressing issue behind all of this. Have well-known fried chicken addicts (we might be making this bit up) the Chuckle Brothers managed to get their fix?! Yes! Well, Paul has anyway – the Sun reports – we don’t know about Barry (we’re not making this bit up). Paul Chuckle tweeted last night that he’d visited KFC and managed to beat all the odds to get three pieces of chicken and some chips! Hallelujah! But…they’d only gone and ran out of coleslaw! Oh dear oh dear.
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When @kfc runs out of chicken and you have no idea where to buy fresh chicken from or how to use your cooker. #KFCCrisis pic.twitter.com/5LS5OgpC9n
— jane bewick green (@janebewickgreen) February 19, 2018
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So, if you’re like Twitter user Jane Bewick Green (@janebewickgreen) – we suspect (hope) she might have been exaggerating – please try to stop panicking, as the Tefal ActiFry is here to save the day!
*The storm stops, sunlight illuminates the sky and a chorus of chickens sing cock-a-doodle-do.*
Use the ActiFry to make your own KFC-style grub. Do some chips in the ActiFry too, open a tin of beans and rustle up some gravy and you’ll soon have your own version of KFC that’s much lighter on the calories and grease, but still finger lickin’ good. Eat it out of a bucket if you want an even more authentic experience.
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Here’s a list of ActiFry chicken recipes to see you through this difficult time:
- Fried chicken thighs – Fab Food 4 All
- Firecracker chicken – Pinch of Nom
- Healthy fried chicken nuggets (VIDEO)
- Parmesan-crusted chicken bites – Taming Twins
- Spicy chicken drumsticks (VIDEO)
- Unbeatable BBQ chicken drumsticks (VIDEO)
Fancy chips with your fried chicken, or something sweet for dessert? Or, perhaps you’d like something completely different? Then check out our ultimate list of ActiFry recipes!
Ultimately, you need to remember that everything’s going to be okay. We can get through this together.