Biscuit-Dunking Named 'Crumby' Office Behaviour

What’s the worst thing you can do in a meeting? Mansplain? Call your boss ‘mum’? Belch? Nope, the answer is ‘dunk a biscuit in your brew’, according to 20 per cent of Brits.

Yep, one in five of us find this kind of workplace behaviour completely unacceptable, according to research carried out by biscuit kings McVitie’s.

Who remembers on GBBO Series 7 when Paul Hollywood dunked a jaffa cake (we’ll leave the biscuit versus cake debate for now) in his cuppa and Queen Mary Berry looked disapproving as she declared: “We don’t do that in the south.”

Well, it seems she has a lot of people on her side, as just 71 per cent of us admit to being biscuit dunkers, which suggests almost one-third (29 per cent) are Team Mary and strongly disapprove.

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We do have a few questions though, as the fact one in five think it’s wrong to dunk in a meeting suggests four in five are actually okay with it, right? Our main question is: how sticky are their boardroom tables?

In fact, 38 per cent of survey respondents said that leaving a trail of crumbs/soggy biscuit in someone else’s workspace was the worst thing you could do at work. Untidy yes, but is it really as bad as microwaving mackerel in the shared kitchen?

Another 38 per cent reckoned the worst kind of biscuit-related bad behaviour in an office was opening a packet that didn’t belong to you. We take back what we said about mackerel earlier, as we truly cannot think of anything worse than this. At all. Except maybe your biscuit falling in your brew. “Nooooooooo,” as Peter Kay would say – Google it now if you don’t get the reference, you’ll definitely relate.

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But what makes a good dunking biscuit? A study conducted earlier this year by Wren Kitchens – which we can only imagine was heart-stoppingly tense with so much soggy biscuit jeopardy involved – ruled that the chocolate bourbon biscuit is the absolute best for dipping in a brew.

All those little holes aren’t just decorative, they’re also good for releasing moisture from your brew, keeping it strong enough for a second dunk. Would you dare to be a double-dunker?

Your odds would also be pretty good with shortbread, which came in second on the list, and jammy dodgers, ranked third. Bourbons and jammy dodgers have a filling too, which also keeps them sturdy.

But would you be brave enough to do it in a meeting? We might risk it, but we’d never let Mary Berry see us do it, that’s for sure.